Guilt, Pain, Worry, and Sadness Don't Mix Well
by bbgirl189
Summary: Rey never realized her training would be so hard, until she let her emotions take control.


**SPOILERS!!!!!! Contains heavy spoilers for the movie Star Wars: The Force Awakens and minor spoilers from Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith. I hope you enjoy!**

Rey stumbled over a rock, her ears still ringing from her experience in the woods. The confusion and questions making her feel unusually dizzy and disoriented.

That's all she could remember before waking up in Kylo Ren's torture chamber. Everything that happened in there was a blur, except one fact. She could use the Force, so much more than she ever thought she could.

Then before she knew it: Han was killed, Finn was seriously injured, she fought Kylo and lived, and now she was on a planet with the Jedi Luke Skywalker and this entire planet was buzzing with the Force.

She jumped as a zap radiated through her arm, causing her stomach to churn.

"Give it over to the Force. Now focus!" Luke demanded, sensing her troubled thoughts and sudden nausea through the Force bond of master and apprentice.

Rey huffed softly, clenching her teeth, before reaching out beyond her blindfold in search of her attacker.

Her swirling thoughts were too strong, causing her not to be able to sense the next attack. The next zap took her breath away and brought her to her knees with its intensity.

"That's enough for today." Luke said simply, trying to send calming waves to his apprentice. He could feel the dizzying effect that had her in its claws. He could sense guilt, worry, grief, and fear washing over her strongly.

"No..." Rey said, before stopping to take a deep shaky breath. "I can do this." She said firmly, as hard shudders rocked her weakened form.

"It's okay to take a break, Rey." Luke persisted simply, as a sad smile crossed his lips as he remembered Yoda's infamous words.

'Do or do not, there is no try.' Yoda's voice and laugh echoed.

"No, I can do this!" Rey snapped angrily, shooting to her feet and readying herself for another onslaught.

"No more, you need to meditate." Luke said firmly. "Stay away from your anger, it will lead you to being like my nephew." He added, closing his eyes and focusing on her emotions.

Rey nodded slowly in defeat, drawing a few shaky breaths. "Very well, Master," she said weakly. She slowly sank down to her knees, closing her eyes as her shudders changed to uncontrollable shivering, even in the warm air surrounding them.

"Let go of your pain, sadness, guilt, and anger. They betray you and encourage you to give into the dark side." Luke said calmly, looking at her in concern. He could sense unrest in the Force , but he hadn't felt anything like it since Kylo had fought this girl and had ended up severely injured and violently ill afterward.

"Yes, master, I am trying." Rey whispered, wrapping her arms around herself against the cold and nausea that wouldn't ease.

"Child, you can't change what has happened. It's best to let it go." Luke explained slowly, sensing she wouldn't be overly receptive to Yoda's infamous words.

"Like you did with Kylo." Rey ground out, no real heat in her words, just pain.

"Its an ongoing trial, Rey. Are you unwell?" Luke asked, changing the subject on her away from his own guilt.

"I'm fine." Rey snapped softly, before forcing herself to stand up slowly, and started the two hour trek back to the hut she shared with Luke, until she finished building her own through the Force.

Luke followed her silently, using the Force to steady her steps, so she wouldn't fall down the long stairway they were walking upon. He could sense her body wasn't going to hold out much longer, so he subtly led her to an open clearing in the stairway with large rocks they could sit on.

Rey looked around a bit confused, once she sat down on a large rock, against her own deciding. "Why am I here?" she slurred, looking pale and disoriented.

"You are unwell, and I didn't want you falling down the path." Luke said calmly, removing his control over her, so he could better assess her condition.

As soon as the Force hold was broken, Rey doubled over with a groan, huffing and puffing rapidly as her body gave into to how she truly felt. She barely enough time to send him a warning of trouble through their bond, before vomiting harshly on the ground beneath her feet.

Luke frowned at the warning, looking around in search of the trouble, until he heard her vomit, and looked back down at her in concern. "Rey?" he asked softly, unsure of how to handle a sick child... especially since Kylo never let Luke near him if he wasn't feeling well.

Rey spit on the ground in front of her, hissing in discomfort as her stomach rolled and pitched as if she were jumping to hyper space for the first time. "I'm sorry, master." she ground out, wrapping her arms tightly around her stomach, before lurching forward and vomiting again and again.

"No need for apologies." Luke said quickly, trying to hide his hesitancy towards what he should do or not do.

"You don't have to stay and witness this." Rey whispered, shuddering as her body was taken over by intense shivering once again.

Luke stripped off his cloak, wrapped it around her shoulders, and sat on the rock beside her. "I am your master, I am supposed to take care of you, whether you are sick or not." he said, placing his hand on her back lightly.

Rey gave in, snuggling into his warm cloak, as she vaguely comprehended his words. She rested her head on his shoulder lightly for a moment, before jerking away and vomiting heavily once again. She blinked a few times, telling Luke that she had just seen something from his past through the Force.

"Your mother was very kind, and never would have separated you from your sister, if she had felt it safe." Rey mumbled weakly, before crying out and curling in on herself.

"Its okay, Rey, you're experiencing a memory, it will pass." Luke said quickly, sensing the panic in the young girl's mind and body. He couldn't help but wonder why she was experiencing Padme's memories... It was highly uncommon for anyone except the strongest people chosen by the Force.

Rey gasped loudly, not expecting to feel the pain that went with the memory, however, it stopped moments later, leaving her winded and shuddering. She gagged hard, vomiting more and more onto the ground in front of them, so much so that Luke was worried she might try to puke up her stomach.

"Sorry," she whispered weakly, as she suddenly pitched forward unconscious.

Luke sighed softly, as she apologized again, but managed to grab her before she landed in her vomit mess. He scooped her up in his arms, being careful not to have her bare skin touch his metallic hand. He carried her down the stairs slowly, making sure to keep her safe and not fall down the stairs himself.

He could feel her thoughts spinning out of control, her pain and sadness causing her to tremble weakly in his arms, and he could tell she was trying to resist his help. She was so used to going it alone, she had no idea how to accept help.

He gently used the Force to put her in a deeper sleep, one where nightmares and memories could not touch her, as he finished the trek to his hut. He took her inside, laid her down on her cot, covered her with her blanket and his cloak, and grabbed an empty bucket nearby for her. He could sense her rousing from his Force induced sleep.

"Rey?" he asked softly, not wanting to startle her or stress her out.

Rey slowly opened her eyes, looking around in confusion. "How did... Imgonna..." she gasped out, looking freaked out and sick.

Luke handed her the bucket, and helped her sit up, not wanting her to choke.

Rey grabbed the bucket, before dry heaving harshly for a good ten minutes, before finally vomiting back to back. Once she finished, she laid back down, putting the bucket on the ground beside her head, if she needed it again.

Luke cleaned the bucket out quickly, before returning it where she had left it. "Are you alright?" he asked worriedly, wishing he could take away her pain and sickness. Sadly, even he wasn't a strong enough jedi to mess with that, he could help and ease it, but not remove it completely.

Rey nodded tiredly, snuggling deeper into his cloak and her blanket. "Just tired now." she admitted softly, fighting to keep her eyes open.

"Sleep, Rey. Get better." Luke said gently, watching her give in and fall asleep of her own volition.

It took the better part of three days for Rey to get better, then ended up having to return the favor to Luke and take care of him.


End file.
